Crazziness..urgently need professional help!!

I’m so not in the mood today. I don’t know what’s wrong but the day starts off beautifully… at least..I think so. Nice weather, waking up early, delicious breakfast, roll back into bed, wake up late in the afternoon, take bath, watch tv, streaming the internet without any particular motif. Its been the same routine for almost 3 weeks, well of course in between that I have my day out.

I guess I’m just bored and my semester break plan ended up in total mess. Lucky, the semester break had almost end. I’m gonna drive myself crazy if my life continue like this. Well, I can’t blame anyone either and it looks like somehow it is my fault. I quit my job just for the sake that I’m not happy with it. Well, they may call I’m stupid but somehow I don’t see any wrong in that. It’s me whose been working out my butt!! So I have every right to decide on what to do…whether to go forward or pulling it off. Why did you want to keep on working on something that turn you miserable? Sigh….why did everyone keep getting in my way……

I wanna take on other job after resigning but then say hi to another setback. I can’t or may I say I’m being indirectly force not to take other job… and so that’s why I’m spending my semester break like an old hag. This drawback kinda life had finally taking a toll on me. Gosh…what’s wrong with me?

I guess I’m not just bored but I’m frustrated as well. But, of what?

Frustration do not lingered only just for one time insignificant annoyance. Inversely it is being drag and build up through all the accumulated miff you had experience all your life.

It might sound like repentance but it doesn’t mean that I’m regretting my life. No, I had a good life. It’s just that I had a few regrets. Sometimes I can’t help pondering how things can be now if I’ve done everything my way, my wish. Why did I have to satisfy everyone? Why did I always held back?

I guess now it’s not just cause by boredom , and not just frustrated either but I’m sick of listening to others. I’m sick of hearing the word..don’t do that, do this instead….no, that’s wrong ..u should be..or whatever it is. Soon, after taking up this advice from this self-proclaim altruists we gonna realize that what we had expect at the age o 19 might not turn out the way they claim it should be when we reached 29. Only then you realize that you already stuck in this sticky situation.

What is there about this altruism thing..? Am I turning out to be one? Hope not. Gosh…and I guess they won’t tell the same thing if it’s their life which is at stake. And now when I’m almost entangled by listening to them and I wonder how on earth would they react if they know? Applauding? The words still ring freshly and now I can hear the applaud loudly…

Shoot me…my ears hurting…can’t stand the sound anymore….

I’m getting crazier day by day…atypical depression...juz dun ask why..??!! The symptom is there - excessive mood positivity, weight gain, increased in appetite, hypersomnia, sensation of heaviness in limbs (lazy)...haha..juz waiting for social impairment to occur..sigh......

Need to lead more purposeful life in future than maybe I’ll be happier…

Bab* or khinzir...heck..what's the different??!!

I think this kind of topic are rather off for discussion but ; still I was call to share with u lots..

Alrighty, the stories goes like this ....on last weekend two of my little brother and sister are qurreling..

It seem that I kind of cant remember what about it...

U noe ...the tipycal things...

they started to scream out like maniacs....blaming, scratching, kicking and hitting each other..

So like a good older and wiser sister I draw them apart and scold.... (well what I actually did is just asking out from quite a distance..hehe..not really a good sister )

“Ok.ok...whats going on? Stop it guys. Who start first?” I asked

“Gemok tu yang mula dulu.Ko try la cari pasal lagi dengan aku,” shout one of them. Smirking. Winning the fight.

“Bodoh. Ko la yang gemok. Dah la takde leher . KHINZIR!!,” snap one loudly and emotionally with tears flowing down her cheeck. Guess the naughty boy beat her down. Hehe...

P/S : Mind you. They had just have been hoal over the coals for using the words babi the day before..Tak serik-serik jugak ..adooii!!

Well at this last word of KHINZIR I cant help but laughing out hilariously...

My thought went like...;” Wow..sopannyer!! What the heck?! It does’nt matter whether its b*bi or khinzir. Come on !!”

A curse is still a curse no matter how you twist the word. It is your intention,the situation that cause you to use it and the way you pronounce it that make a word turn into a curse.

Still, I cant help but feel a little overwhelm by both little brat. Huhu..leaving me with awe because I cant really use that kind of word no matter how angry I can be. The far I could go is normally bodoh and I cant help saying it with a little bit of guilt.

Far worst than bodoh.. I might use bengong or bangang. And very rarely or occasionally I said the word f*ck out of mischief but never with rage.Huhu..

I dont really know how to curse out of respect to my parents and there is another bit of reasoning beside that but naturally I just hate harsh words!! So..how in the world that the two little brat with the same upbringing as me can curse much better than me....?! Weird la..huhu..

Value of money..!!??

Putting back the sense in your purse!!!
What does money values nowadays...?
Well as a matter of fact I does think that the value of money is too little to be bargain for.
Huhuhuhu, Im actually broke at this very moment..
People..join me & let's check out the sum of fortune I had in hand right now..
Umm.. Ive got about 10 bucks in purse..with two of my atm card already at its limit..
(atm card and not credit card ok..heard me correctly!!)
...& no other saving or watsoever..

So mom..dad.. just kindly give away ur money to me daily!! (Hahaha..useless daughter)
Luckily, the semester is already at near end..
Darn...how did I ended up in total mess??
Well, I noe..I noe..
no one to blame except myself, me...& me..,me again.me.me.me.me.me.me.meeee!!
As an example I went on a frenzy movie spree just this very Monday!!
...doing marathon for 3 movies..frm 4.30 to 11.00.. (x all legal!!)
...wooohoo...looopy me!!...
(gratitude to midvalley & gsc for sucking up every last note in my purse!!)

Conclusion people... - Damage control....!!
...As now onwards, I decided today that I'll not to be tempted again..!!
..in watever form the temptation comes...
..either in advertisement form or human friends like form .. (lurve my friends tho!!)
..spending money recklessly is a big no-no from now on..
..dun ask why??.. Im completely broke ok!!..

Sometimes ago someone did send me an sms that sounds like this..
"You are what you spend your money on"
..owwhh,please.. its not really true cause if so I'm a complete entertainment-freak-selfish-brute!!
..and Im not...
..to tell the truth I picture myself as someone nice, friendly & a bit crazy sometimes..
...don't you think so?!!..hahahaa (perasan giler)

Solution people...- saving and turning up an extra income!!

Earth Hour : Purely symbolical acts and what it signifies?!!!

Lighten up or darken down, whichever takes your fancy??!!....
It's symbolical, but that's not all.

Turning the lights off for an hour last Saturday at 8.30pm is a small, simple act that is easy to publicise and the results is highly visible to be observe. And, best of all, WWF had claim that the action makes a positive and even measurable contribution to the core issue – reducing emissions.
Sounds great haaaa...???!!!!
But does it really reduces the emissions of the green house effects???

This had kept me wondering for last night when I lost in thought watching the lights goes off from the prided skyscraper of KLCC....(not mentioning I'm surfing internet outside the balcony during that time..obviously x participating in earth hour) Hahahaha......kantoi...!!!! But what's wrong with that?

Well, my act does state what I feel about this issue. Come on guys...this whole campaign is just a symbolical act.
So don't curse me for not voting.
But then again this symbolical acts makes me thinking what is the relevance and significant of those act??

On my own account, I just dont do it for the fact that I realy..realy..hate darkness.
Call it selfish or what but darkness is one thing that i can't cope with....
(thinking bout the boogey man whose lurking around get on my nerves...SPOOKKYY)
Personally I detest earth hour as darkness evokes feelings of danger and insecurity.
Plusss....I personally think that by switching off light does'nt really help reducing watever they were claiming.
Do u really think that one hour does change the state of our worlds right now?
By switching off the light can the global warming be stop?
Does the emission of CO2 be reduces?
Does it put back the lives of the trees that has been cut down?
Does it going to prevent the melting of the ice cap in the North & South poles?

Personally, the answer is no....hahaha..unless we make it longer...let say one day (now..that really is sumthing)
As for only one hour the.... power industry and big industry will keep their production as they always keep spare capacity that will keep their turbines spinning......( tenaga simpanan la yek secara mudahnye)
Conclusion, if the industry had'nt be stop or control then how we r going to reduce watever that we want to???

None the least, this earth hour thing really does reduce the power consumption ?!!
That a fact that cant be deny...but how much can we save in just one hour....obviously not much right!!!
But the one thing I like about this earth hour thing is that for some of us it open the oppurtunity to appreciate the awesome beauty of the starry night sky......(only if the rain not pouring down!!!)
........Hehehehe...does'nt that increase the romantics side of a person......:>
As addition, that one hour might educate our younger generation
( older one like me is already to condemned to be fix....hahaha)
to reflect our growing "need" to turn on lights and appliances.
Soooo... in term of public awareness...we might realize we really don't need to use so many or to use them so often.

Yeeeeaayy..would a day come where we can be free from electricity ???!!
Yet better...maybe a few of us will re-discover the joys of conservation for a short...
while having no television to turn on at the flick of a switch.

I suggest we make it a day...no a week, not an hour!!!!!

This maybe only a symbolic vote....
but it is a vote that has some tangible effect!!!!
this is a unifying act that demonstrates the strength of individual feeling....

Big applause for those parcipitating in Earth Hour and booooo to myself!!
But still ignorance is better than indifference right
(try sticking up the wet thread..!!..huhu)
Thats all & c ya in next update!!

Conquering the world with apathy and words!!!

Finally, after all the wishy washy thought of starting my own blog..I finally made one....!!!
Pheeeeewwww!!??
Okies, peeps!! Here goes my very first post..!! Actually, I dun have anything to tell currently so just brace urself with my complete craps..!! Watch out people coz I just bout to deliberate cranky and crappy tales for ur reading. Warning people, dont judge the spurs of words appearing on ur screen coz its juz my honest thought. Juz stop reading if u dont like it ok??
Hahaha..OMG, I lurve doing this!!
How Im going to explain my feeling at this state as I typing out the words...??
...well its like..did u ever remember back when u r small u used to be very happy with very simple act such serving urself with a huge ice cream cone or perhaps a bar of chocolate??
..the very sweet smell and yummy sensation that affects ur nerve and brain making u happy and cheerfull all day long..??

..& that people..., is my feeling at current state!!
unfortunately..not for long..!! u noe bout the ice cream & sweet - toothache!!!!! (aauucchhh)
..so the same goes for the blog..it cant make me happy all the time so there is a time where I
will stop posting up mw words and thought for awhile...
..cant really tell the reason..maybe Ill be away..maybe Im getting bored of it..maybe i dont have anything to write on..maybe there is no internet line...maybe Im tired of it...maybe i've been busy...maybe....etc..etc...etc..etc...
See...??? There is thousand possibilities, cant really be the same reason..

But I do hope that I'll constantly and continuously posting up my words up here..!!!!

As this is my firs post lets just make it short.
Dont wanna tired u out ...
First impression last forever right (hahaha..poyo jek:>)

Actually I wanna keep on writing but had been taken over by apathy laaaa...
ngantuk sudah......wanna go sleep..

Hahaha...actually to be frank I dun really care if no one reading up my post or visiting my blogs coz the real reason why I start this blogging this is because.....

...I had double personality as I'm quite a reserved and shy in person so most of the time I'll suppress my feelings and thoughts....
..once in awhile I need to resurface the hidden me (a hideous me)..of coz not in front of anyone..
..so i thought why not everytime I wanna tell bout the untold story I go blogging...
..so i thought why not everytime Im frustated I told someone through blogging..
..so I thought why not everytime I feel like sharing my feeling, thought and stand.....u noe laa!!

seee??!!
Its quite a goood way to let out the unspoken words hidden inside me in a form of another me..
I dun really think u people understand wat Im talking bout!!
My words looks like Im talking to myself...iz it?!!! uuhh..eerr..

FREAKY MEEEEE!!!

ok2..enough of it..
Should end this by now!!
Tc and see u in the next update!!
But b4 that sorry for the unperfect english(kind of berkarat aleady..haha) and also for the non grammatic sentence that emerge into a grandma like noisy chatter!!
See yaaa...